I don't know what subject to put. Who cares.

One thing I don't like about blogging is the permanence of it. I am so tempted to delete posts once I am over something or have moved to a different place with it.
That is also what makes me hesitate to write more... I have deleted entire blogs before.

Anyway.

So I wrote the last post when I was angry. I don't know if I was correct in my observations or not. After all, skilled Narc's are incredible con men.

What I do know is that regardless of that, I gave it another chance, then ended it again today.

I am very sad and I believe I was in love. yea yea grateful for the experience. So what.

Definitely a head vs. heart thing. The man was just not healthy and able to be part of the type of relationship I wanted to have. Too much bitterness from his last outing I guess? Or sheesh, he might have been simply unable to be honest with himself and thus anyone else.

I gave it a chance when there was remorse and the promise of doing what it takes to prove trustworthiness. That promise lasted a couple days then he changed his mind. A week into it, he hid something while looking at me. Deep breath - yep. While looking right at me. That is a bit far from where I am with honesty and a partner today - a bit.

I am feeling cynical at the moment if you couldn't tell. When I told him I needed to end it, he found a quick way to make it my fault. OK. Whatever.

Let's see. 17 years on the internet and this was the first time - the first man - to inspire me to actually delete profiles off web sites, remove photos, and make private my photos on the only site where they exist.

This experience has pretty much made me not want to date anyone online ever again.